September 8, 2013

This weekend, I, along with several other adults took a group of youth on a retreat. It was a good retreat, we had sessions with discussions about having faith, knowing that God is in our doubts, and be still and listening for God.

It really was a great weekend, and I cannot tell you how many ways I saw and felt God this weekend.

At the very last session this morning, I did very little talking, and instead had four different prayer stations that they could do. There was one about fears, and one about being silent and hearing from God. The other two though were different. One was about writing a prayer on fabric and putting them all together so that i could have someone make it into a quilt so that our prayers would be each other's prayers. The other station was allowing them to write questions that they had no matter what they were.

As excited as I was about these stations, I wasn't prepared for what I would read. As I read the prayers, I just started to get teary-eyed. These kids, who are somewhat like family are dealing with so much. Some are so very worried about their futures, some worry if they are enough, some question why me? I had the funny ones of course, "Why did we have to get up so early?" Why do people always have to be serious. (I know that was geared towards me because I am not always loose, LOL).

It isn't very often that youth or teenagers are that honest, so to read what is really on their hearts, it really begins to shed light on the fact that they are just as scared as they ever were, and we more than anything need to love and support and show them the love of Christ.

So often, I included, get so wrapped up in what I am doing, that I forget that it isn't what I am doing, it is what God is doing. When I read the questions of Why me? and there were several, I began to wonder how I would answer that. Would I just blow it off and simply say I don't know? Would I seriously consider the question and try to answer it? Would I simply be honest and say I don't know, but I will walk through it with you? Not only do I wonder how I would answer that, I wonder how many times I have asked that same question...

Of Course, I know what my answer would be because I love these kids, I would give them whatever I had if it helped them in some way, but what about people we don't now? What about the teenager who doesn't go to church and will never experience that love? How do we help them and how do we help each other know that you are enough, and you are so very loved?

I don't know the answers to most of the questions that were asked, and to be honest, I will probably never know, but my hope is that I would be willing to walk with whoever might be dealing with the hard questions, just as God has placed people in my life who have walked with me through the hardest 2 years of my life.

To them, I will always be grateful, and I hope one day to show them how much they love and mean to me. Thanks be to God for allowing us to ask the hard questions, and not getting angry when we ask them. Thanks be to God for being there for us.

As a note to any reader: Be in prayer for our teenagers today, they are going through a lot of stuff, and I guarantee you, they understand far more than we give them credit for.

August 19, 2013

Hi. I am a young pastor who just like every 20-something, I am seeking. I am seeking God, I am seeking purpose, I am seeking a mate, I am seeking, knowing that I may never find all the answers, but I will continue to seek, and I will continue to seek to become closer to God.

I will be honest with you. I am not much of a blogger. I never quite understood it, writing to people I don't know, nor will I probably ever know you. As I sit here though on this quiet monday night, I find it very therapeutic to write into cyberspace. I find it comforting and somewhat exciting.

Growing up, I thought pastors and preachers were like superheroes. I could possibly think this because my grandfather was my preacher and everyone knows our grandparents are our heroes. :) But now that I am older and actually living in the life of a pastor, I find that pastors aren't superheroes at all (at least on the pedestal that we place them on). Pastors and preachers are very human, and though they may have the qualities of a superhero, they are not in fact superheroes. Pastors (at least me, and many I know) deal with some of the same issues that people in their congregations deal with. Some deal with depression, some with overcoming obstacles, some with self-doubt, some with marital problems. Pastors are just like everyone else.

I work with teenagers, and though they can be very challenging, I find great joy in being with them. They allow me to see the world in a different way, and they allow me to be human. They may not like it when I fail miserably, or when worship doesn't go off without a hitch, but they do allow me to fail graciously. They offer grace. The thing that we probably preach on the most, they get it better than I do at times.

My grandfather was a hero for me, and the pastors that I have learned from have been heroes in their own right. I will continue to look to them for guidance, even though they are not perfect people. They are doing what they are called to do, just as an elementary school teacher is doing what he/she is called to do, just as a mail person is doing what he/she is called to do. They are just people who are using the gifts God gave them.