I have always been fascinated by roads. Not in the design, build, or types of roads, but just simply the road.
When I was in college, I initially fell in love with the road because my college boyfriend and I would take drives through the country in Putnam, Smith and Overton county. We often found ourselves there when we just needed time to talk or even just to drive quietly holding hands, because a dorm was definitely not the place to be able to do those things, it’s never quiet! We would drive for hours, getting lost just so we could find our way home. I used to say “All roads lead back to Cookeville.” It really did feel that way. But we always found our way back and we rarely had to turn around, maybe all roads do lead to Cookeville?
We laughed on our travels, cried, got frustrated, likely yelled a couple of times, got scared one time on one particularly creepy road (yea, we turned around that time!), and just really began to understand one another better. We always knew that taking a drive would give us the time to work through whatever we needed to work through. I began to really see the true man, his passions, his hopes, his dreams. While I had fallen in love with him rather quickly, I inadvertently fell in love with the road in the process.
You see, I didn't drive until I went to college. In fact, I got my license at 18, and the only reason I got it then was because I didn't want my younger sister to have her license before me. She was a bit more motivated than I was apparently. My sophomore year of college, I took my car with me to school because I had an off-campus job. Those first few months, I was terrified. I was afraid that I wouldn't figure this out, but I did, and I never realized how much I would love the freedom to be on the open road with the windows down, air in my face, heat on my feet and the music to sing along to.
After I broke up with my college boyfriend, I began to take those drives by myself (don't worry, I always made someone aware of where I was headed or I would take someone with me). I would take those old familiar routes, but then I began to try new routes, just to see where it would take me. Again, causing me to fall more in love with the road than I ever knew possible.
When I decided to go to seminary, I chose Asbury, for several reasons. One, it allowed me to remain in Cookeville working as a youth minister, and taking classes online. Two, it was an easy drive from Cookeville for those classes on campus. Over the years that I was in Seminary, I began to appreciate the drives to Asbury because it gave me a complete 4 hour drive to think, pray, be. That was until one of my final semesters where I had to go every Thursday for a class. That drive got old real quick, 8 hours in a car every Thursday. I didn't always like the road at that point. But interestingly enough when I needed to clear my mind, I would still find myself driving down that old familiar road headed often towards Waterloo.
When I moved to Murfreesboro, I quickly learned where everything was because taking a drive was always a good way for me to unwind and take a deep breath. The road has always been a place of peace for me. In fact, I have a friend who understands when I need a moment of peace because I will say "I am going for a drive." She doesn't question, she just knows.
To be real, the road hasn't always been kind, as I have had car accidents, driven in snow and ice and dealt with the elements, and you know how much fun that is! I have experienced foggy days where you can't go any faster than 20mph on the interstate. Yet, I always find my way back to the road.
This love affair that I have for the road still holds true today. When I find myself on a road going somewhere in particular or even going no where but where the car takes me, I find myself. I find myself here after I see a thought provoking movie, or when I have a sermon to write and just can’t find it. I find myself here when I have a hard day, sad day, bad day, great day, or even days filled with epiphanies. The road has often become my place of refuge. And often it has become the place where God meets me.
Throughout my 14 years of driving, I have taken many of drives:
Some with people that I initiated, ( it’s a great place to talk about life and honestly a great place to get people talking), some I didn’t.
Some I have experienced great adventures or terrifying moments, like the time my friend Adrianne and I encountered a massive dog on a country road in the middle of Overton County at night and thought it was a Yeti. Yea, that scared me to death!
Some I laughed until I cried.
Some I just cried.
Some I sang at the top of my lungs as the music came over the speakers.
Some I drove in complete silence because I had nothing to say.
Some I listened, some I spoke.
Some I got angry, and some I sat humbly.
Some I felt a sense of awe and wonder as I saw the mountains unfold in front of me or that moment when I come over that hill in Fairfield Glade, and see that steeple of the church that I call home. And I think, it’s so good to be home.
Today, on this Good Friday. A day that has culminated in remembering the suffering and death of Jesus, in the midst of the life around me that continues to move and change with each new moment. I find myself longing for the road. Longing for the place of refuge. The place of peace. The place to breathe. So I go. Not for long, just long enough.
In every moment that I find myself there, the road has met me again like an old friend. It’s like it says to me, “Here we are again. Take a deep breath. Take in what is around you. Look in the rear view mirror once in a while when you are changing lanes. Otherwise, look forward. Keep going. and when you stop, I will be here when you need me again.”
As I travel down these roads, it's almost as if God has said to me, "I am here. Take a deep breath, I have you. Step away from it all for just a moment, and hear these words that have been spoken over and over again, "My peace I leave you. My peace I give you..."
May it be so, O God, in each of our lives. May it be so.
