I had one of those moments today, and it made me mad because I couldn't understand why the decision that was reached was actually reached. It made NO sense, and even when I tried to see from the other person's perspective, it just made me even madder. How did they come to this decision? Why did they come to this decision? NO sense I tell you!
I vented to a dear friend about it, and she usually gets the brunt of whatever is going on in my life (Poor lady!I thank God for her everyday! Let me take this moment to say, if you don't have a friend (who is not your significant other) who you can be mad, angry, crazy, overly excited, or to just have the giggles with, I hope you find it. It really is a gift!). Anyhow, I vented, and walked away. I went to run an errand about an hour later, and walked back into my office to find two books laying face down on my desk. I read the first one's title, and then the second one's title.
The second one (I thought) clued me in as to why they were on my desk. It was about letting go of resentment. I just thought, some days I jus don't like her. I knew that my dear friend had put these on my desk. As I read through the first one (printed below), I began to have tears in my eyes, because I knew I needed to let go of the resentment that I held for the person that made the decision I didn't like. I was/am becoming bitter because I just don't understand. (I don't like not understanding!)
A few minutes after I started reading that friend walked in my door, and said, "what do you think?" I didn't respond right away, and she said, "do you think that would work for what your looking for?"
What I haven't told you is that I asked her for help in finding an "Act of Forgiveness" for the youth to do before taking communion at Discovery Weekend. The idea was within the reading. I didn't tell her what I had thought about what she put in front of me, I just changed my thoughts to discovery and we figured out a beautiful act of forgiveness.
It's kind of funny though if you think about it, I have been so bitter lately, because I don't know why. And though it wasn't meant for me to find in that way, I did. Those moments when God is so very evident, its like God is talking directly to you, trying to get your attention in any way God can, and God uses friends and simple words written by Joyce Rupp.
I have let resentment and bitterness be inside of me for so long, and I didn't really know it was there for the longest time. But as it sits, it grows, until you can no longer suppress it. I saw it today. It was so evident, and though the book wasn't meant to affect me in that way (or maybe it was, she is sneaky like that!), it did. I really do pray that God will "create in my a clean heart." I don't want to be bitter. I want to be joyful… The words of Joyce Rupp really do speak clearly for me…
I hope the youth encounter God in this reading just as much, if not more than I have...
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