Love Does Happen!

When I was 20 years old, I began dating a man who I thought would be my forever. Not only was he really nice to look at, but he was smart, he was funny, and supportive in my call to be a pastor. Something that I was not at all confident in. We dated for four years, and then I broke it off, I still believe I made the right decision for both of us, and he agrees. However, today would have been 6 years together. While four years is a long time, I never realized how much loving another person would impact who I am today.

Love can really bring out the best in someone, and it can bring out the worst. It's hard to see someone for who they really are when you start dating them (my friend, Michael, calls it idealizing that person, or making them who you think they should be or who you want them to be), but after a while, you really have no choice but accept them for who they are. That's an act of love, and you have a choice to make at that point, to let go and move on or stick with it. I chose to stick with it for a long while.

Loving him allowed me to feel deeper than I ever felt for anyone before, it showed me that a person can fully love someone with all of their being. It proved that love can be one of the most beautiful things, its not just some fantasy that is dreamed up in a disney movie where life turns out perfect no matter how it started because you found your "prince charming." Love is so much more than that. It's knowing that the person who you have chosen will love you completely, faults and all. It's hard. Love is really hard at times. Those times when you completely disagree, or don't know how to settle an argument, or you feel totally alone in the relationship. Love can be so hard, but when you bounce back from those moments (and if you have the right person, you will), you find that its totally worth it. Love is definitely all of the feelings that come with it, but its also the head, its choosing to love someone everyday, and some days will be easier than others.

I may not have married this man, but I would have, in a heartbeat, I truly loved him. The thing is, it just wasn't right. So we split and went our separate ways.

Oddly enough, we do talk every now and then, and he is still so very supportive of my dreams, while I am supportive of his dreams. But one thing that I found in that relationship that I really didn't expect is that love can sometimes mean letting go.

Letting go of this life you thought you would have. Letting go of this wonderful man who you love with all of you being. Letting go of the hope of loving this man and only this man for the rest of your life. Letting go of tomorrow, and simply living day by day, hoping and praying that God will bring you to the next, because it hurts so much to let go.

As I think about the day ahead of me tomorrow, I think about this man. I think of the love that we had, and though it was far from perfect, for us, it was true. I think of all of the many things that he taught me, and those things that I taught him (Those are some funny stories!) I think of the fact that he and I will both love again (and hopefully that isn't too far down the road). I think of how many times he stayed up late with me so he could proof a sermon, or let me freak out, or to simply sit and be with me. I think of the times that I dropped ice cream off at his house and left it by the door, knocked and ran, so I didn't disturb him while he studied for a test. I think of the numerous times we made dinner together and talked for hours. I think about the funny times in our relationship, and the road trips we took. I think about his family, and how much I love and respect who they are. I think of him.

Tomorrow will come and go, and every day after that. People will come and go in and out of my life, and as I get older, I find that they come and go more quickly than before. If I can give you any advice, from someone who let love go (even if it was the right thing to do), tell the people that you love, you love them. I learned to live by that philosophy when my grandfather died suddenly, and I hope that this man knew how much I loved him, just as I hope those who I love know that I love them now. But on days like tomorrow, I found I desired to tell that man I loved him every second of that day, and a part of me wishes that I would have driven him nuts telling him that everyday that we were together.

Please don't keep the love that you have inside of you, let it out, don't waste a minute. Love does happen, and love is completely worth it. Alfred Lord Tennyson said "Tis better to have lived and loved, than never to have loved at all." My life has changed because I have loved. I hope that you find that your life has been changed too by loving someone and being loved by someone. And if it hasn't yet, just you wait. It is completely worth the wait.