Dr. Stephen Strange: I’m not ready.
The Ancient One: No one ever is. We don’t get to choose our time. Death is what gives life meaning. To know your days are numbered. Your time is short.
[she holds Strange’s hand]
The Ancient One: You’d think after all this time I’d be ready, but look at me. Stretching one moment out into a thousand just so that I can watch the snow.
While the Ancient One was talking about death, and Dr. Strange was talking about fighting the powerful Dormammu, I believe that that the phrase, “I’m not ready” could be said about so many things in life, not just about death or in a fight. Over my 30 years, I don’t know how many times I have found myself saying that same statement, “I’m not ready,” nor do I know how many times I have heard it from other people. To be fully ready for anything takes preparation. Some preparation is easy, but some is difficult and hard. Some preparation can bring you to tears and some can bring you to laughter. There is this idea that for us to accomplish anything or be anything means that we have to be ready. At this point in the film, Dr. Strange had gone through so much preparation, but never felt like it was enough. Is there ever enough time to prepare? Will you ever be ready for that exam that you studied like crazy for? Will you ever be ready for something new? Or will we will always be wanting more time to prepare, more time to be ready?
One of the profound time that I remember saying “I am not ready” was when I told the pastor at the church that I was serving in, that I did not want to to become the youth director after it suddenly became available. He came to me a few days later and asked me to consider taking the role. By the end of the day, I had agreed to become the new Youth director at the church. To say I was nervous was an understatement. I was Terrified! There were many moments in that role that I had no idea what I was doing, but what I learned was that each time I found myself not knowing what to do, God placed people in my life to help me learn. In fact, looking back, God has consistently placed people in my life to help me find my way when I didn’t know where to go or what to do. I will forever be thankful to that Pastor because in many ways he was allowing God to use him so that I could find my way, just as God has used so many others.
This doesn’t mean that one should never prepare, nor does it mean that I want to just be thrown into something without the preparation that I actually need for whatever is ahead. It also doesn’t mean that I will never use the words “I am not ready” again, because the reality is there will be many moments when I don’t feel ready. But what this scene reminds me of is that even in the moments when I don’t feel ready, I know that I am not alone in feeling unprepared (no matter how prepared I really am). But I also see how even when we think we aren’t ready, we are still put in the game, and somehow we survive, even if we fail, we survive and we try again.
So maybe one will never be ready no matter how prepared you are... or maybe we are more ready than we think we are, we just have to take the leap.
For me, in those moments in the past and those moments that will be in the future where I will find myself feeling not ready, it’s often taking a leap of faith knowing that no matter where I land, God has me, that can be hard. The thing is, no matter how young or old you are, no matter how much life you have lived, no matter how many times God has brought you through those moments sometimes having faith to take the leap is scary... but in the end is so worth it.
So, Here’s to us all taking a leap even in, especially in, the moments when we are so NOT ready!e
P.S. If you are reading this terrified of what is in front of you... know that you aren’t alone, we all have our moments! Your allowed to have your moment.
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