Happy Birthday Nick!!

I have been married for about a year and 4 months. People often ask me “how is being married?” Let me start by saying, I am in a constant state of growing and learning, some of which is very painful. I have no answers, only questions. With that being said, I would answer this question by saying, “It’s good.” But after some time I felt like that wasn’t a good answer, because it wasn’t fully truthful. I then moved to “it’s challenging but good.” But again, I felt like it wasn’t a true answer. So my statement is now, “It’s a challenge where I am learning and growing every day, but I wouldn’t trade it.”

I feel like that is as truthful as I can get because the reality of it is that MARRIAGE IS HARD. 

Some days it is great- everyone is in a good mood, everything goes just as it’s supposed to, Dinner comes out perfectly, the dog does what he is supposed to do, and we get the kids to bed with ease.

But other days may not be as good- Someone might be in a bad mood, or kids not following directions making everything more difficult. We are pressing one another’s buttons, or our frustrations get the best of us. Dinner isn’t great, and the dog is just barking at everyone or using the restroom in the house. 

And sometimes they are just bad- an argument or a fight just puts everyone in a horrible place. A trigger causes a meltdown, or simply a meltdown happens with no reason. Dinner was burned and you had to order pizza. The kids or your spouse are particularly irritable. Something breaks that you have to figure out how to fix. This list can be endless, let’s be real.

While marriage is definitely hard- it is beautiful. And I get to do it with a really good man. We both have our faults and have some major arguments at times, and some days it is a choice to love each other and work through the struggles that exist.

Yesterday was this man’s birthday. Nick turned 34. We spent the day together with Hazel- while missing Jack who was in school. We did all the things that Nick wanted to do: We had breakfast at First Watch- which was delicious. Went to Hobby Lobby (believe it or not, Nick’s decision), laughed a lot, and watched a movie or two. Nick and I had a wonderful dinner at Highway 55 in Nolensville. The pimento cheeseburger was one of the best I have had and their onion rings- YES! Try it! Then we went to Lowes and bought plants that he is planting today… it was a great day! 

As I reflect on yesterday and every day with Nick, even in the midst of the challenges- I fall more in love with him every day. 

Watching the way that he loves the kids, playing with them, dancing, laughing, telling really bad jokes, cooking with them, using his gift of many different voices making the kids laugh. Knowing how he cares for me- often in ways that I don’t even recognize. Seeing him overcome all that he has overcome. Caring for him as he takes care of himself. And so much more! 

Being on this journey with him, walking alongside him, loving Hazel and Jack as though they were my own, and laughing with him has been a joy- even when dealing with all the difficult stuff that arises- I will just name one- being a stepmom is hard. Our life is so far from perfect yet I wouldn’t trade it. I love this life that we have built and cannot wait to see what the next many years will bring us, the lessons we will learn, and the many ways in which I know we will have to choose to love one another in spite of the hurt that can be caused in loving one another.

I want to say Happy Birthday my love. You have taught me so much, not just patience ;) but also about love, joy, how to be a good parent, and how to be kind when you want to be anything but. You push me to be the best I can be, and to think beyond what I have always known. You have always been honest with me and loved me even when I felt unlovable. You are truly a gift that has been given to me. I am so thankful that we found one another again- even if it took 15 years to get here.

Just a side note: Something I have learned... you never stop learning about your partner. Today, I learned that is it dangerous to take Nick to Lowe's... I never knew how much he loves plants.