Thankful.

Growing up, I always dreamed of being a mom. While having a career would be part of my journey, my biggest hope and dream was to find someone to spend my life with and become a mom.

4 years ago, I found someone to spend my life with after meeting him and beginning to fall in love with him 15 years earlier. He is funny, irritatingly smart (sometimes too smart for his own good), loving, caring, and sometimes maddening. But we are a good fit and make each other better most days. :) Throughout our journey together, we embarked on the second part of that dream, and while the journey is still ongoing, it has proven to be more difficult than I could have ever imagined. It has been heartbreaking and, at times, quite brutal on my body, heart, and mind.

Through it all, I have had Nick and the children who came into the marriage with him. They have taught me resilience even when it's hard. They have taught me to laugh more, to engage the child within me (something I struggle with), and to never be afraid of creativity- there is always room for it. While it hasn't been perfect by any means, and some days are harder than others, I wouldn't trade it.

Jack has taught me the power of one-line comedic timing that is so sarcastic it even stuns his father (who, in many ways, is his match). He has taught me resilience in a way that no other person has. He has taught me more and more about how to love wholeheartedly and reminded me what it looks like to stand up for your friends and take care of your friends. He has learned how to make my spaghetti and insists on making the sauce whenever we make it at home. I love watching him grow as he grows into himself. He has graciously loved Hazel, the big brother she loves so deeply. And even though he will be 14 in a couple of weeks, he still has those moments of wanting to be with Nick and me to play games (even when it's because we have taken the technology away. lol!) and even inviting Nick into the online games he plays with his friends! (Also, Jack hates having his photo taken! So I don't have many.)

Hazel, the complete opposite of Jack (and loves to have her photo taken) but who wants to be like her big brother, has taught me just as much. She reminds me of what it was like with my mom. We cook/bake together, (my favorite thing now is when I ask if she wants to help, she goes to the drawer, gets out her apron and my apron (even though I don't typically cook with an apron on, that's really for baking), brings it to me, sets up her stool, and just looks at me with this look that says, "I'm ready." We love to watch movies together and cuddle (I don't know how many times I have seen "Rise of Red”), and I have loved introducing her to all the old Disney channel movies (which Irible they are, now see how to but it doesn't matter, I still love them). She has shown us that she is a roller coaster junkie- so she will ride all the rides that her height will allow with me. She has a love of musicals and is always performing. She has reminded me of how we can be creative throughout our lives and in doing arts and crafts.  I have never met anyone who loves arts and crafts as much as she does. She is all-girl, which means that we have spa nights and other fun nights like it. We regularly have manicures at the house, and she loves going to the nail salon to get mani/pedis. One of my favorite things that she has said was when I said I needed a mani/pedi one day, she said, "ok. Let's go." My response was, "Are you planning to go with me." She looked at me with a "duh" look and said, "Don't I always?" She does not. Lol. She blows my mind with her vocabulary (something thather get from her dad), and she is kind, happy, I have watched and loving on most days, even as she experiences the chaos of living in two different homes. 

While the possibility is increasing that I may never be a mom, I am so lucky to be a stepmom to Jack and Hazel. They make my life brighter, way crazier, chaotic, and sometimes a complete whirlwind! Being a stepmom comes with its unique challenges and difficulties, and while there have been many tears and frustrations throughout this journey, there has also been so much joy that I would have never experienced if they had not been in my life. As Hazel becomes 7 tomorrow and Jack becomes 14 on the 28th, I can't help but be excited to see who they will become but also how much more they will teach me. I am so thankful they let me love and care for them. 

Happy birthday, Hazel and Jack! 

I love you, always!

Reality

Reality Check…

You know those weeks when it feels like nothing was easy and it always took so much more time to complete a task
than you thought it should? Yea, it was one of those weeks. This week has been hard. It was a long week with wonderful moments and some very difficult moments. I wasn’t always my best this week, yet my husband still made sure that I had bath salts to help me relax, held me when I hit bottom, and didn’t judge me for eating the 2 Mexican pizzas on Thursday night (yea, you read that right). And in the moments when I needed to apologize- which felt like every time I turned around-for being short, most people didn’t even notice and/or were very forgiving.

Then on Friday, I picked Hazel up from school. I got her a little earlier than usual to go and get her tap shoes before her new dance class. To say that she was excited is quite an understatement. We talked about dancing all the way to the shop and then all the way to the studio. Even though I haven’t known Hazel and Jack for long- it feels like I have loved them all their life. So her excitement became my excitement.

I picked her up from dance an hour later and we headed home. On the way I asked how dance was and if she liked it. (Truth be told- she has told us and her mom that “her dance teacher taught her…” for almost a year, sometimes being quite convincing- so we thought it was a safe bet that she would enjoy it.) She talked about it the whole way home and told me several times that “I will teach you what we learned when we get home.” When we got home, she put on her tap shoes and showed me what she learned. Then she looked at me and said, “where are your tap shoes?” I just laughed and said, well I guess I should get a pair, shouldn’t I?😆

We went along with our evening, Jack came home- I ran an errand- and by the time I got home it was about time for bed. However I hadn’t eaten yet, so I go to the fridge and Nick had left a plate for me- that he and Jack (and Hazel sort of) made. They are both learning a bit more about how to cook simple meals- something my mom and dad taught me and will teach them- though Jack tells us that he won’t ever need to know how to cook a meal for a date.😂

Nick and I have a routine with Hazel. He bathes her, I get her dressed, brush her hair, and then we pick out what she will wear the next day. Then I kiss her goodnight and daddy reads a book and she goes to sleep. Most of that happened Friday night.

The weekend went by without too much difficulty- we saw my family- which is always a good time and then a friend came to be with us last night which completely delighted the kids. They love Camron! I made dinner and we enjoyed each other’s company, playing games, Mario Kart, laughing and then finally getting in bed.

Earlier this evening, we lived into our other thing that has become a routine: Hazel and I take Jack to his mom on Sundays while Nick goes to practice handbells. It is a rare moment where it’s just me and the kids.

Sometimes we listen to music, sometimes we talk, sometimes one plays on their tablet while the other plays on their switch and I just have music softly playing. Tonight it was the latter. We dropped Jack off and headed home.

I knew that Nick would be late tonight because of taking Camron home- so we stopped and had dinner at our favorite place-Chuys. We ate dinner, and came home, I gave her a bath, and put her PJs on. Tonight though she was a bit cold, so I asked her “would you like for me to dry your hair tonight.” She said, yea! So we sat on my bed and I dried her hair. Afterward, we cuddled up and watched the “Presenting Olaf” shorts, read a book and now she is settled in bed. 

All these moments seem like simple things. But really- they are big things. You see all my life I wanted to be a mom- to love a child the way my mom loved me. I get to love them often, but as I dried her hair, it was like time stopped. I thought back to when I was a kid and my mom dried my hair (it’s still one of my favorite things, by the way), and I realized, I may not be Jack and Hazel’s mother (nor would I ever try to take their place- they get that special title) but I get to love and care for them like my mom (and dad) cared for me.

Tonight I needed the extra cuddles, the conversation (even if it was minimal in the car with Jack), I need the laughter, the peace, and the sweet little prayer that Hazel saidbefore bed. I needed to be reminded of the beauty even within the chaos- even when the chaos is not what I had envisioned. I needed to be reminded of how grateful I am that I get to love not only their daddy- but these 2 amazing kids!

It’s really easy to get bogged down in all the “stuff,” and forget to be present. I am thankful that tonight I could be. 

Happy Birthday Nick!!

I have been married for about a year and 4 months. People often ask me “how is being married?” Let me start by saying, I am in a constant state of growing and learning, some of which is very painful. I have no answers, only questions. With that being said, I would answer this question by saying, “It’s good.” But after some time I felt like that wasn’t a good answer, because it wasn’t fully truthful. I then moved to “it’s challenging but good.” But again, I felt like it wasn’t a true answer. So my statement is now, “It’s a challenge where I am learning and growing every day, but I wouldn’t trade it.”

I feel like that is as truthful as I can get because the reality of it is that MARRIAGE IS HARD. 

Some days it is great- everyone is in a good mood, everything goes just as it’s supposed to, Dinner comes out perfectly, the dog does what he is supposed to do, and we get the kids to bed with ease.

But other days may not be as good- Someone might be in a bad mood, or kids not following directions making everything more difficult. We are pressing one another’s buttons, or our frustrations get the best of us. Dinner isn’t great, and the dog is just barking at everyone or using the restroom in the house. 

And sometimes they are just bad- an argument or a fight just puts everyone in a horrible place. A trigger causes a meltdown, or simply a meltdown happens with no reason. Dinner was burned and you had to order pizza. The kids or your spouse are particularly irritable. Something breaks that you have to figure out how to fix. This list can be endless, let’s be real.

While marriage is definitely hard- it is beautiful. And I get to do it with a really good man. We both have our faults and have some major arguments at times, and some days it is a choice to love each other and work through the struggles that exist.

Yesterday was this man’s birthday. Nick turned 34. We spent the day together with Hazel- while missing Jack who was in school. We did all the things that Nick wanted to do: We had breakfast at First Watch- which was delicious. Went to Hobby Lobby (believe it or not, Nick’s decision), laughed a lot, and watched a movie or two. Nick and I had a wonderful dinner at Highway 55 in Nolensville. The pimento cheeseburger was one of the best I have had and their onion rings- YES! Try it! Then we went to Lowes and bought plants that he is planting today… it was a great day! 

As I reflect on yesterday and every day with Nick, even in the midst of the challenges- I fall more in love with him every day. 

Watching the way that he loves the kids, playing with them, dancing, laughing, telling really bad jokes, cooking with them, using his gift of many different voices making the kids laugh. Knowing how he cares for me- often in ways that I don’t even recognize. Seeing him overcome all that he has overcome. Caring for him as he takes care of himself. And so much more! 

Being on this journey with him, walking alongside him, loving Hazel and Jack as though they were my own, and laughing with him has been a joy- even when dealing with all the difficult stuff that arises- I will just name one- being a stepmom is hard. Our life is so far from perfect yet I wouldn’t trade it. I love this life that we have built and cannot wait to see what the next many years will bring us, the lessons we will learn, and the many ways in which I know we will have to choose to love one another in spite of the hurt that can be caused in loving one another.

I want to say Happy Birthday my love. You have taught me so much, not just patience ;) but also about love, joy, how to be a good parent, and how to be kind when you want to be anything but. You push me to be the best I can be, and to think beyond what I have always known. You have always been honest with me and loved me even when I felt unlovable. You are truly a gift that has been given to me. I am so thankful that we found one another again- even if it took 15 years to get here.

Just a side note: Something I have learned... you never stop learning about your partner. Today, I learned that is it dangerous to take Nick to Lowe's... I never knew how much he loves plants.

It’s An Action Word.

 

Not too long ago, there was a little girl, She had a dream of growing up, falling in love, getting married, and having a family When you are young, it seems so far away and truthfully it looked much easier than it is. 

Well that little girl grew up, She fell in love with a man that she never saw coming. She met him when she was a sophomore in college, but they didn’t fall in love until about 15 years later. It was fast- and many probably questioned what She was thinking, especially if they had known all that he had been through in the years prior. But honestly, to her, he felt right. He was funny, quirky, frustratingly smart, and he could handle her big personality- never letting her walk all over him. He was what she had been looking for, for so many years. 

 But she found something- it’s not easy.

She always knew a lot of things about love, She knew that it wasn’t perfect, She knew that she would have to choose to love her partner over and over again. Truth to be told, She had experienced it before. But Nick, Nick was different than before. To her, he was electrifying. All it took was one look from him and she could feel it to the tips of her fingers. His words- and intelligence- and his heart were what she had longed for. They could spend hours having deep conversation about whatever and while he would tell you “I was just having a conversation,” She would end up arguing because let’s face it she was stubborn and wanted to be right. So, they go married. 

That little girl was me. We have been married now for 10 months and a day. It has been such a roller coaster and I have found that my definition of love has changed over the year.

Love is sharing a bed with someone- this is much harder than it seems… I never realized how much I love my space. Love is waking up to tell someone that you love them as they leave for work- and you are not a morning person. Love is taking their children to the park, or buying clothes, or making dinner. Love is letting the kids help make dinner- which let’s face it, if you have children you know that we love it when they help but it take 2-3 times longer than it would have had you just made dinner. Love is the smile on a child’s face when they see you coming. Love is the little kisses and glances across the room when no one is looking but the two of you. Love is the walking or driving in silence holding one another’s hands. Love is watching a horror series on Netflix(that actually turned out to be better than I anticipated- though I did have a few nightmares from it, definitely recommend it.) Love is buying a fall wreath because you know it would be meaningful to your partner. Love is the playful laughter and for us, the different voices, dances and music that gets played. Love is so much more than that little girl could have imagined. 

While it is so wonderful, it is also very hard.

Love is holding that person when they are upset. Love is understanding when they are dealing with past traumas and being present for them having no clue what to do except to love them. Love is wanting to pull your hair out because you are so frustrated with your partner but you don’t. Love is taking a walk so that you don’t just annihilate your partner with hurtful words (because let’s face it we know how to hurt with our words). Love is naming when you are wrong. Love is recognizing when you have used your words to hurt your loved one because you feel hurt. Love is getting the help that you need. Love is standing by someone while they get that help. Love is fighting through the tough moments. Love is giving one another space to breathe when you feel like you’re suffocating. Love is saying “whatever you need to do” when your partners dad has a stroke and they need to be with them instead of you. Love is staying when it might be easier to just walk away. 

Love is not easy. And love is often a choice.

 Over my many years of ministry, I have watched people love one another well and even now as I watch people lose loved ones, I watch how the definition of love is changing for them. Caring for their loved one as they walk through this final stage of life- doing whatever they can to make it easier, allowing their partner to know that I am here and I love you. 

As I think back on my life- that little girl had no idea what life had in store, but she did figure one thing out…

Love is worth it. 

And while is definitely not easy, I would say that it’s worth the pain, struggle and sometimes heartache. It is an action word whose definition is ever-changing. It is worth the time that it takes to find, and it is definitely worth not settling for. Find the one that makes your heart sing- even in the midst of the chaos. Find the one that you want to fight for (and with- sometimes fighting can be fun). Find the one who will also fight for you. 

  Marriage and love are not easy roads- but they are sure full of adventure and complications that make it all worthwhile.

The Road in Front of Me

I have always been fascinated by roads. Not in the design, build, or types of roads, but just simply the road.

When I was in college, I initially fell in love with the road because my college boyfriend and I would take drives through the country in Putnam, Smith and Overton county. We often found ourselves there when we just needed time to talk or even just to drive quietly holding hands, because a dorm was definitely not the place to be able to do those things, it’s never quiet! We would drive for hours, getting lost just so we could find our way home. I used to say “All roads lead back to Cookeville.” It really did feel that way. But we always found our way back and we rarely had to turn around, maybe all roads do lead to Cookeville?

We laughed on our travels, cried, got frustrated, likely yelled a couple of times, got scared one time on one particularly creepy road (yea, we turned around that time!), and just really began to understand one another better. We always knew that taking a drive would give us the time to work through whatever we needed to work through. I began to really see the true man, his passions, his hopes, his dreams. While I had fallen in love with him rather quickly, I inadvertently fell in love with the road in the process. 

You see, I didn't drive until I went to college. In fact, I got my license at 18, and the only reason I got it then was because I didn't want my younger sister to have her license before me. She was a bit more motivated than I was apparently. My sophomore year of college, I took my car with me to school because I had an off-campus job. Those first few months, I was terrified. I was afraid that I wouldn't figure this out, but I did, and I never realized how much I would love the freedom to be on the open road with the windows down, air in my face, heat on my feet and the music to sing along to.

After I broke up with my college boyfriend, I began to take those drives by myself (don't worry, I always made someone aware of where I was headed or I would take someone with me). I would take those old familiar routes, but then I began to try new routes, just to see where it would take me. Again, causing me to fall more in love with the road than I ever knew possible.

When I decided to go to seminary, I chose Asbury, for several reasons. One, it allowed me to remain in Cookeville working as a youth minister, and taking classes online. Two, it was an easy drive from Cookeville for those classes on campus. Over the years that I was in Seminary, I began to appreciate the drives to Asbury because it gave me a complete 4 hour drive to think, pray, be. That was until one of my final semesters where I had to go every Thursday for a class. That drive got old real quick, 8 hours in a car every Thursday. I didn't always like the road at that point. But interestingly enough when I needed to clear my mind, I would still find myself driving down that old familiar road headed often towards Waterloo.

When I moved to Murfreesboro, I quickly learned where everything was because taking a drive was always a good way for me to unwind and take a deep breath. The road has always been a place of peace for me. In fact, I have a friend who understands when I need a moment of peace because I will say "I am going for a drive." She doesn't question, she just knows. 

To be real, the road hasn't always been kind, as I have had car accidents, driven in snow and ice and dealt with the elements, and you know how much fun that is! I have experienced foggy days where you can't go any faster than 20mph on the interstate. Yet, I always find my way back to the road. 

This love affair that I have for the road still holds true today. When I find myself on a road going somewhere in particular or even going no where but where the car takes me, I find myself. I find myself here after I see a thought provoking movie, or when I have a sermon to write and just can’t find it. I find myself here when I have a hard day, sad day, bad day, great day, or even days filled with epiphanies. The road has often become my place of refuge. And often it has become the place where God meets me. 

Throughout my 14 years of driving, I have taken many of drives:

Some with people that I initiated, ( it’s a great place to talk about life and honestly a great place to get people talking), some I didn’t. 

Some I have experienced great adventures or terrifying moments, like the time my friend Adrianne and I encountered a massive dog on a country road in the middle of Overton County at night and thought it was a Yeti. Yea, that scared me to death!

Some I laughed until I cried. 

Some I just cried. 

Some I sang at the top of my lungs as the music came over the speakers. 

Some I drove in complete silence because I had nothing to say. 

Some I listened, some I spoke. 

Some I got angry, and some I sat humbly. 

Some I felt a sense of awe and wonder as I saw the mountains unfold in front of me or that moment when I come over that hill in Fairfield Glade, and see that steeple of the church that I call home. And I think, it’s so good to be home.

Today, on this Good Friday. A day that has culminated in remembering the suffering and death of Jesus, in the midst of the life around me that continues to move and change with each new moment. I find myself longing for the road. Longing for the place of refuge. The place of peace. The place to breathe. So I go. Not for long, just long enough.

In every moment that I find myself there, the road has met me again like an old friend. It’s like it says to me, “Here we are again. Take a deep breath. Take in what is around you. Look in the rear view mirror once in a while when you are changing lanes. Otherwise, look forward. Keep going. and when you stop, I will be here when you need me again.”

As I travel down these roads, it's almost as if God has said to me, "I am here. Take a deep breath, I have you. Step away from it all for just a moment, and hear these words that have been spoken over and over again, "My peace I leave you. My peace I give you..." 

May it be so, O God, in each of our lives. May it be so. 

Mister Rogers Still Surprises Me!

I picked up my iPad tonight to read for the first time in a while. I opened it up and the first book that opened was The Simple Faith of Mister Rogers. Most people may not know this but I am fascinated by this man. I watched him growing up every day and I still watch him at times today. Most recently, a couple of movies have come out that reminds me why I look up to this man. He makes me want to be a better person. He makes me want to look at my life and work on my relationships with people and my relationship with God. He challenges the way I think, the way I interact with people, and even the way that I respond to my anger that dwells up within me.

Tonight as I read, I found myself again drawn to him in a new way. The author was writing about how she and Fred exchanged letters that contained different ways that’s they could pray for one another, and it would eventually move to praying for their friends, I must admit, I am a little jealous that she got to have these interactions with him and I didn’t, but I won’t hold that against her. 😉 As she finishes this chapter that was about prayer, she writes: “And so with that Fred was handing down another toast stick: Prayer is not only a daily discipline that deepens our relationship with God; it also provides a way for us to be together in our aloneness.” 

In the midst of this isolation, I find this to be a very profound and comforting thought... definitely something to think on and maybe expand my thoughts on in the future but for now, I think I want to sit with it. See where it takes me. Where does it take you?

Do Not Be Afraid

There are days when the only thing that I can do is write… so tonight, I write. 

For the last several weeks, my heart has been heavy. 

It holds within it people who are hurting because of loss or illness and a town that I love and people that I care about so deeply who have experienced a great deal of pain, loss, and heartache. When I heard about the tornado, I began texting the people that I knew were in the path. I had learned early in the day that the people that I knew were safe, some lost things, but their families were ok. While I worked that day, my heart was with them, because I knew that other families were not so lucky, and many of the families that I knew were connected to those that were lost. That week was a hard week for so many, and many there are still trying to figure out what comes next. But if I learned anything about Cookeville, it is that it IS a place that is strong and will rebuild.

Then this week, this virus, this COVID-19, that has been coming upon us, came quicker than we would have liked. When I began to hear about a quarantine, I immediately responded in anger- which is really a response that is fear, just appearing as anger. I was angry because I knew it could hurt a lot of people. I was angry because it was scary. There was a part of me that wanted to deny it. But reading the CDC reports, hearing reports from doctors and political leaders, I have come to realize that we must take this seriously, and that yes, it can be scary. It is scary. When I heard that we should be practicing “social distancing” and avoiding touch, my anger doubled, because that is about as appealing as a banana is to me, meaning not appealing at all. 

As I have had time to think about all of this, to read, to research, to talk through and now to work through what it means to move worship services to completely online with amazing pastors and staff, my heart has softened, my mind has cleared, and my anger has dissipated. I realized that this isn’t about me. This quarantine is not meant to hurt us; it’s meant to help us in the long run. This is about protecting other people, specifically those who are older, or whose immune systems are compromised. This is about taking care of our nurses and doctors so that the hospital doesn’t become overwhelmed. This is really about loving one another. It just looks a little different that it normally would, but its love none the less.

This is about community. This is about unity. In fact, in the midst of the fear that seems so present, it is community that has always come through in the worst moments. And I have a feeling it will be community that will get us through this hard moment.

Over the last two weeks, I have watched the communities that I love: Cookeville, Nashville, Murfreesboro, come together and be embraced. I watched as people gathered to clean up and to love people by offering their hands, bobcats, and compassionate hearts. I have taken part in conversations about how to best serve and love our community when we can’t actually see each other face to face. I have experienced great moments of joy and peace. I have watched these communities show the world just how strong they are together. I have listened to sermons, prayers, and worship services where the word isn’t just about what has happened, but about the HOPE that still exists in the midst of the chaos and even in the midst of the quiet.

Hope can be found when someone helps you dig through the rubble to help you find those pictures from your wedding day, or someone who will bring you groceries or a meal, because you don’t cook anymore. Sometimes hope comes directly from scripture reminding us of the radical hospitality, mercy, forgiveness and grace of a God who loves us, and sometimes it’s a child who puts a smile on your face with a video that he made about how to put Legos together to make a car. 

HOPE can be found, if we will just look for it. 

The problem is that sometimes we miss hope, because we live in fear. It seems often times, fear really shows its ugly and lying ways when there is a change, when something comes up that we have yet to face that causes our foundation to be rocked. And sometimes rather than facing that fear head on, it’s easier to just buckle under the pressure and give in to the fear. To live in fear and forget to hope. 

Over the last several weeks, fear has been ever present. Fear that weather will come again, fear of a virus that seems inevitable in this moment. Fear of people because they may give us this virus. Fear of what we do not understand and do not know how to stop. Fear is rampant. I know that because in my own bones these last several weeks, I have lived it more times than I care to admit. I have been afraid and truthfully there have been moments when I have buckled under the pressure that fear causes and given in to that fear. Yet, I was reminded this week as I sat in worship on Thursday night that there is HOPE. Fear does not have the last word, even when our whole being has given into fear, it’s not the end. There is still God who is speaking to our hearts, “do not be afraid, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” While the circumstances for Joshua were different, I believe God is saying that to us now. Do not be afraid. Take precaution, do what you have to do to be safe. But know that this quarantine will only last for a while, though we don’t know what that means or even how long. There will come a time when hugs, handshakes, and visits will be ok again, but for now, keep your distance. Call people rather than visiting in person. Facetime. Sit on your front porch talking across the lawn to your neighbors. Cook a meal. Take time to be. Take time to love.

I realize that it’s easy to say these words, and its much harder to live them. I guarantee you over the next little bit, I will have my own moments where I forget to live in hope because of everything going on. Because it can be heavy. It will be hard. 

As I laid down in my bed last night, I found these words from Bread for the Journey written by Henri Nouwen, “Sometimes it’s good to say, “You don’t have to talk. Just close your eyes. I am here with you, thinking of you, praying for you, loving you.” All I could think of were the people that God has placed in my life for the moments when it is heavy, who may not have said these exact words of Nouwen’s but who have said words like these.

So my prayer for you in the coming days and weeks is that in the moments when we hit our walls, when we begin to fear more than hope, or when being isolated gets the best of us may we have courage to reach out to the people that God has gifted us with. Even though we may not be able to see one another face to face, may you hear and know these words: “You don’t have to talk. Just close your eyes. I am here with you, thinking of you, praying for you, loving you.” And know that even in moments when we feel most alone, God is there saying, “Do not be afraid… for I am with you.”