Child of God.

So I am in preparation for Discovery weekend, which is a youth spiritual growth retreat that is done completely on our campus. It's labor intensive and a lot of hard work. It is also one of those retreats where I have the joy of seeing kids use the gifts that they have in new ways.

Anyhow, I am preparing the Disciple group leaders guide for the weekend, and got my hands on a book called, "Prayer of the Heart." It is a book that teaches a person to use art as a spiritual practice. I was skimming the book, and looking for a certain idea, and came across a lectio devina exercise. I am honestly not a lectio devina kind of girl (I just cannot seem to get it), but continued reading, something in it caught my eye.

Lectio Devina, if you have not heard of it is a spiritual practice that consists of five basic steps: silence (centering yourself), reading, meditation, prayer, and contemplation. I wasn't reading the book to actually practice any of the exercises at the moment, I had a purpose, but isn't interesting how God finds purpose beyond our purpose. I found myself to being a part of this exercise. When it came to the time of reading, the book offered two readings, One was found in Proverbs. The other however was a quote by Marianne Williamson. It said this, "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves… Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?" Who am I? You are a child of God; your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking, so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are born to make manifest the glory of God within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in every one of us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give our people permission to do the same."

I was stunned. It took me by complete surprise. Especially since earlier today I was talking to a dear friend, and she said I was doing that thing I do. When I questioned what that thing was, she pretty much said you are making yourself smaller. I then responded with many times, I go ahead and knock myself down so that when I fail, I don't get completely crushed.

How crazy is that? I have knocked myself down time and again, saying that I am not good enough, I am not smart enough, I am not pretty enough… when the reality is I am a Child of God. I AM ENOUGH. Someone recently pointed out my fear of failure, and she told me that I failed everyday, we went through one of my days, and talked about all of the ways I had failed, but gotten back up and started again. Failing is inevitable, it doesn't mean though that we must belittle ourselves or others around us, to cushion the fall. Its going to happen, but like every other time you will get up. I love how the quote ends by saying, in some ways its not about you. If we let our light shine, if we be the person God created us to be, a child of God, then we will give permission to others to let their light shine. How beautiful is that? By being a child of God, God can use us to help someone else also be a Child of God.
Who am I? I am a child of God and that is ENOUGH!